The end of Senior year is rapidly approaching. My mood is drastically better. My outlook has been astonishingly positive as i have stopped focusing on outside negative information and gossip aswell as have gotten far more independent. I have a set routine both with school, home life, chores, health, beauty and social groups. As for school, most aspects of procrastination are gone. At home i have a routine of chores i keep up with to ensure my parents will allow me to play sports and go out with friends. My health routine is that of vitamins and making sure im eating at every meal. i used to skip meals which would spiral my depression much deeper. I regularly go out with friends as to not so much distract myself from issues but not thrive on them. I have set a positive mindset to most of the things i do. Positive affirmations and thoughts are key as well as letting myself feel without shame. Its okay for me to mope but then i gotta build a bridge and get over it. Swim season is approaching which motivates me to push through the days as well as being an outlet for frustrations. I have taken to journaling as i used to do. I feel bad that these updates are so boring but i dont want them to get too personal or as emotional as i had originally intended because that is too much crumb for the internet and my peers. I feel like this senior projecct was a bit selfish and boring compared to the others but with my life being the state that its in, its truly what i needed.
Todays song of choice is Caress Me Down by Sublime, uplifting mood
i treated myself to avocado toast for lunch which also made me happy and made me realize it truly is the little things. I learned about friends trusting me as lindsey let me cut all of her hair off which was a cool project as well as a humbling moment to just cut off all of someones hair for them and them have all that trust in you. I didnt just get that out of the equation i also got a big jug of Pineapple juice which in fact is my favorite beverage. Im beginning to prepare for senior events as well as prom. I used to long for the senior experience that other schools have but now im so far annoyed with school i would probably freak out at grad night. I genuinely wish i went to school with all of my friends at pinole and got to go to grad night and enjoy normal high school things. Im still rather stressed but the universe blessed me with another day of life where i can eat cinnamon rolls, cuddle Colin and laugh with my closest friends. College acceptances are coming soon so this breakdown is definitely approaching. this truly is the calm before the storm.